a midnight soliloquy

of all things i thought of today, i thought of you. it's been so long since i think of you at all if i can be honest. why you may ask. hmmm probably i've been busy in my life, too many things going on at the same time, everything's rather overwhelming i suppose. it might sound like an excuse. it might be one even. maybe i'm just not ready? maybe i'm just afraid of the uncertainties? maybe i don't want to take the plunge? maybe i'm just selfish with my time and such? maybe i'm not the one for you? maybe... again so many uncertainties~ *sigh*

you know some might say that a man must be firm with what he thinks, knows how to make a decision and not show a sign of hesitance. sorry to disappoint you but i'm a man with many doubts. as much as i want to be the perfect person for everybody else, i am not. i suppose i can only be myself...

too many question marks in my life at the moment. what if this? what if that? what if this isn't this? and what if that doesn't come out that?

i wish i can start over again but what is done is done, life goes on and we move on. what happened really i question myself at 12.20am lying in my bed. i guess nothing has happened. unfortunately it's just something that occurs at a most unfortunate time *sigh* i wish we are at a different time frame and another place maybe, things might be different. but that's wishful thinking~

as i was saying, tonight for the longest time... i think of you and i think i miss you hmmm...

morning stupidity~

so the other day my colleague and i were discussing about his smoking habit among his other so-called vices when he asked me what was mine. i think my friends can attest to it well enough; i have MAJOR issues with punctuality! *ARGH*

today the weather is so nice, the morning was great and it's so relaxing. and i woke up with a mighty jolt coz it was already 7.30am and by that time i was already supposed to take the LAST bus to my office (if i take the 7.30ish bus usually i'll be the macgyver right on the dot to the last seconds arrive at my office) did i tell you that my company is extremely sticky about punctuality? *ARGH*

so yeah i've decided to (again) take an urgent leave (half day) this morning, rather questionable rule if you ask me but that's for a different post altogether, when i feel less like a loser... -_-" this stupid habit of mine is literally killing my career~

aaaaanyway, while ironing my clothes (oddly enough i always do domestic jobs that i usually neglect during those half day leaves... ahem, this isn't the first time haha~) i thought to myself, how do i solve this problem. the way i see it there are a few options:
* i can get married? then i'll have my wife to wake me up (before she go go? *cringe*) but that's a long run solution i said to myself
* what about getting someone to do a "domestic partnership" (ok ok that equates to living with someone) and where do i find someone nice enough (re: stupid) to do that? -_-"
* move to another company? as much as i love to do so, i can't seem to complain about anything but this punctuality rule *roll eyes*
* or i can just get a new (FRICKIN') phone with a proper alarm that is loud enough to wake me up? (i do have a BRRRRING~ kind of alarm clock aside from my phone but it doesn't come with a snoozing function ermm.. yeah hehe~) my stupid phone goes beep beep beep beep... who the heck wakes up with a beep beep sound? what am i, wile e. coyote? ERGH!

i seriously in need to get a new phone (sounding like an excuse huh? hehe)... or get married? ergh, ok i REALLY REALLY need to get a new phone *pull hair*

cherry kisses...

today i was eating hershey's kisses cherry that i bought recently at changi on my recent trip to india and thought of something, "wah this cherry flavour chocolate has a very fake taste... mmm... just like me... not that bad actually, quite nice hehhe"