a midnight soliloquy

of all things i thought of today, i thought of you. it's been so long since i think of you at all if i can be honest. why you may ask. hmmm probably i've been busy in my life, too many things going on at the same time, everything's rather overwhelming i suppose. it might sound like an excuse. it might be one even. maybe i'm just not ready? maybe i'm just afraid of the uncertainties? maybe i don't want to take the plunge? maybe i'm just selfish with my time and such? maybe i'm not the one for you? maybe... again so many uncertainties~ *sigh*

you know some might say that a man must be firm with what he thinks, knows how to make a decision and not show a sign of hesitance. sorry to disappoint you but i'm a man with many doubts. as much as i want to be the perfect person for everybody else, i am not. i suppose i can only be myself...

too many question marks in my life at the moment. what if this? what if that? what if this isn't this? and what if that doesn't come out that?

i wish i can start over again but what is done is done, life goes on and we move on. what happened really i question myself at 12.20am lying in my bed. i guess nothing has happened. unfortunately it's just something that occurs at a most unfortunate time *sigh* i wish we are at a different time frame and another place maybe, things might be different. but that's wishful thinking~

as i was saying, tonight for the longest time... i think of you and i think i miss you hmmm...