how to help a friend?
do nothing
sometime around this hour next week i would be arriving in delhi. quite a scary thought to be honest. well maybe the word to use is not scary, more of nervous since there are so many uncertainties thrown into the equation. my boss not being there, the vp being there (!), meeting the people i've been liaising for a month and a half now. hope everything goes as planned...
anyway last sunday i was having another one of those long chats with my friend about life, his life mostly. seems like he's in one big junction, just graduated and what's next? hmmm~ yeah what's next. the newspaper repeatedly mentions that the job market is very hot but there are still people who are having difficulties, even clinching the first step of an interview invitation.
sometimes what you need is to let go... there are so many things that we want, so many things we wish to achieve but i think in order to get the first step in those junctions there are times when you just need to close your eyes and pray that your decision is the right one. i'm probably one of those people who dislike uncertainty, usually i'll prepare a list of things to hedge against these uncertainties in case they go horribly wrong. unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) in life, there are those moments whereby your list is basically redundant.
there are times when we worry. worry of failing. worry of not achieving the expectations set. worry of disappointments. worry that we make the right decisions.
i was just sitting down by the pool just now thinking who actually judges if a decision is right or wrong? you will only know if your pick is right/wrong when you have close the last chapter of your life i think. failures and losers. who created them? who named them? each and everyone of us is one at least at one point of time in our lives. those unfortunate moments only make you savour the success even more~
don't worry of disappointing other people, worry if you might disappoint yourself. just do what you feel right, pray on it and never look back. the biggest disappointment in life might be regret. so just stick to your decision and push through. consistency is the key. and don't forget in those moments when you're most fragile - learn to let go.....
posted by spie_dee @ 12:07 AM
2 Comments:
I have to disagree with you on this.
Yes, life is cruel, life is harsh, and life will definitely teach you a lesson.
But seriously, that's WHY we need a friend to rely on.
And when I meant "rely on", is not by giving your friends tips or directions on where to go or what to do, coz that's entirely what your friend should do himself.
But what I meant, was to just be there, as a support, lend an emphatic listening ear, cheer your friend up for better prospects in the future, or help him be grateful for whatever he has right now.
And NOT do nothing.
You probably say that everybody else who is everybody, is doing nothing anyway, in this difficult Singapore life. It's like an ingrained characteristic of Singapore business mind.
But guess what? YOU can make the difference.
Why is support important? Because it is exactly this, that will make your harsh and cruel life, meaningful.
So, from a person who's been on the lowest side of life, and have appreciated the presence of a real friend, .... I say; Be there for your friend, and don't do nothing.
hi mr/ms anonymous,
i think you misunderstood my entry. what i mean with "do nothing" here is for my friend who is trying to solve his problem. there are times when the choices are so hard and we're pinned down to make the choice almost immediately. we worry so much of the outcome that we get unnecessarily frustrated and stressed out. i believe when given such a situation, that person should just do nothing. pause. (maybe pray for the religious?) and just think through with a clearer mind on how to solve this problem. if anything else, listen to your heart and let go (but let God? again for the religious of course)~
as a friend who is a third party of the person with the problem, yes i do agree with you. we might not be able to provide much advice or consolation. but the least we can do is be there for the person and lend a listening ears. rather than trying to give "solutions" sometimes what our friend needs is just a place to vent out his/her emotion before making an important decision.
so yeah, as i was saying. maybe the greatest strength in a person is the ability to let go and have faith given the most difficult situation~
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