the odd one out?

sometimes i wonder in life if i do fit in with the group i am/was in or i TRY to fit in. take junior college life as an example, it was the time when friends' acceptance was most important more than anything else. can't say that my jc life was bad at all, i was in a good school with nice friends, had a reputable eca even. but looking back, i kind of question myself again. in between the awkward conversation, forced laughter and all, who am i kidding, i don't think i belong there..

now at work i kind of have a sense of belonging with what i am currently doing and the people i work with. i even go out with them sometimes to hang out or just have a random drink during the weekend. but as i lay here in my room at 1.30am on a new sunday, i wonder.. do i really belong with these friends? or am i trying to fit in again?

i probably do not have the answer now. i may not even know ever? the bigger question maybe is why am i even wondering about this? (yeah why?) people walk through their lives, day in day out, you're bound to meet all sorts of people. some will be left behind as memory but there are some i guess, those few ones who become your true friends. i'll try to put these doubts and insecurity aside first (as much as i can) and glide with my daily life for now. there'll be time to evaluate later, but for now let me just live my life the way it is... hmmm...