Wednesday, December 31, 2008

my 2009 wish~

so it's the last day of the 2008, within 12 hours and 5 minutes we'll all
be in the 2009. i wish i can say that i'm unaffected about all these
overhyped roman calendar (more specifically julian calendar actually) new
year but today i'm feeling rather reflective. it's one of the very same
feeling you get at the end of a one week holiday just before the exams. you
end up wondering where have all the days gone to? and darn it you could've
utilized those hours better.

i did things i wasn't proud of, said things i wish i didn't amongst other
things but probably i should learn being more positive every now and then.

as usual, there's a fleeting thought in my head, if only human can be an
asocial being. do we necessarily need people around us to actually live?
maybe our lives are defined by the people around us, what they feel about
us, what they think about us and also who are they really (to us maybe)?

it's sad really to think of it that way, can't we be ourselves because we
want to. be ourselves because we are.

and a gazillion other people will definitely say, yes you should be
yourself... *sure*

but when the society is build in a certain manner that you are expected to
be this way, that way and everything else, i can't help feeling just a
little bit down

(at this point i wonder if my colleagues' negative impression of their jobs
kind of rub in the wrong way for the past few days hmmm...)

imagine this scenario, let's say a person ideally throws his
job/career/life to pursue his "dream" or so he thinks ala "the alchemist".
what do you think the society will think?

what about this one. if a person is generally shy and rather awkward when
meeting new people. why is it judge as "wrong" or a "weakness"? (mind you
the quotation marks really)

not that i'm saying i can relate (or want to relate) to both scenarios
above, somehow it just popped in my head (blink?). somehow i just don't get
how the society works. and since society where we are living in builds who
we really are (aw really?), well i must say i don't quite understand myself
clearly. i find myself doing many many things just because (yes there's no
continuation to that sentence... just because...)

well most of all i wish a many things in the new 2009 but above them, i
hope i know more of myself in the coming year. hmmm....~

1 Comments:

Blogger Yan Dao said...

It's Gregorian calendar actually...

Happy New Year 2009. Hope 2008 has been good for you.

4:40 PM  

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