touchy touchy

lesson to be learnt

it's been quite some time since i am this erm... sensitive. if a man can get an emotional PMS this is probably quite close to it. i'm just very very extremely worried about the mid-term exam that is coming up on tuesday i guess.

still on the topic of feeling insecure, i'm on the verge of laughing... it's been a week. probably it's the "mood" i'm feeling... as described in the management & organization text elaborated on how "mood" is actually a prolonged type of emotion. kind of true in a sense.

as i'm thinking of what else to write in my blog i realized that i have wasted my whole week worrying about NOTHING. i have not even taken the test and i worry so much about how i will fare in it. i suppose i still have tons to learn. not only the chapters in the textbook but also the chapters in my life. *bang myself on the wall* let's not fret about what the future might bring us, take things one thing at a time, step by step and not to jump into conclusions *esp the negative ones!* time to pick myself up! :)

lesson 1: JUST DO IT!

好久好久不見

indeed....














Nicky Lee's "好久好久不見"

my plan to go home during the september recess week has been cancelled. partly because it's so near to the mid-term exams and also even if i go back i won't be able to go out much which defeats the purpose of going back i guess. o well, for now i'll just listen to this song and think of the good ol' times. *sigh* i miss you guys...

a matter of insecurity

am i sufficient enough...

ask any of my friends in indonesia, they'll say that i'm a happy-go-lucky guy, does his work last minute most of the time but usually manage to scrape through with quite a decent result in the end of the day. kinduv reminds you to macgyver huh? NOT. haha..

well today i have another of those blue insecurity days. part of me is glad i'm actually taking this supposedly prestigious MBA course *that is of course arguable, explains the "supposed" word in the precedent* but on the other hand, i'm just worried that i'm not cut for it. am i even sufficient enough. every other person in the class seems like someone who excelled at what he did back at work and they look so confident with everything they do. while i am just a regular joe i guess. boy will my friends be so surprised to see how much i actually study nowadays. *sigh* but i can't lie to myself - the insecurity is still there.

one of my friends told me, "don't put a target for yourself, just try and do the best you can". talk is cheap. but what if in reality your "best" isn't even good for the people's standard. maybe i'm paranoid? maybe i'm overly worried? maybe i'm traumatized with past experiences? i don't know. i'm not sure. maybe i don't want to know. just worried when i get the results and i don't perform as expected. *choi! touch wood...*maybe i'll try and hit some books, probably it can calm me a little. haiz, to get some sort of consolation in a book, how sad IS that?

why do u have to restrain urself?

quote unquote

yeah why DO i have to restrain myself? not following huh? we were talking about having a relationship and such. of course i told him my usual explanation that this is not the right time to start a relationship, yapping high and low that i'd probably jump shark later when i'm more stable in every aspect. he replied "why do you have to restrain yourself?". well if you ask me, this question is like a knife cutting butter. OUCHIE!

to be honest, i suppose i haven't really thrown myself into the "market" or even gone there to "window shop". but i seriously think that i shouldn't waste anybody's time, i'm not here for anything serious *yet* so why bother? for all you know, she can meet the man (men? if she's lucky enough) of her dreams. time is so precious, heck LIFE is so precious. let me be selfish. let me be me. at least for the time being.....

btw this whole entry is of course under one BIG GIGANTIC assumption:
=IF(spie_dee="looking", "got gal want him", "got gal wait for him")

which in my opinion as a former marketing analyst abit farfetched using whatever percent of confidence interval.....

OUCHIE!!!

coffee, tea or me part deux

GUILTY AS CHARGED

coffee, tea or me?

people's perception: how important is important?

today i bought a new mug and i was contemplating should i get a mug with the word "coffee" or "tea" on it. both are just as nice; the tea comes with pictures of tea leaves all around the mug and the coffee with coffee beans. maybe it's me, but i think coffee and tea have certain meanings to them? i mean people perceive these two drinks differently, don't they? tea is the more calm, relaxed and composed out of the two whereas coffee is the more outgoing, youthful and extroverted one. is it me or coffee seems like the more hip drink compared to tea? :D

well after standing motionless weighing the two mugs a few minutes i decided to buy the mug with the word "coffee", why not? it would be perfect for me! just one small problem though - did i tell you that i don't drink coffee and i was actually looking for a mug for my tea? haha... small ironies in life... :D