it's all in the mind

you know what
i've just had enough
of you thinking so low of me
i'm just so tired of it
i may not be as high as i want to be
but i'm definitely not as low as you think of me
i'm just tired
just stop.

バカ

my MBA experience will end in about 1.5 months and i'm wondering have i done enough? looking back some might ask if i would do it all over, i'd tell them most definitely. but if they ask if there's anything i would want to change, unfortunately i would have to say many. *shrugs* i suppose at this point of time, i can't really give a model answer of 'i wouldn't change a thing for everything that happened has built me the way i am today'.

*smile* yesterday i was having a conversation with my friend about how i like to do things for people. strangely enough today i had a class that ask about our priority in life and my top 3 were being well respected, sense of accomplishment and warm relationship with others. another friend even pointed out that most of my options are more external? it's a rather justification from other parties rather than self. strange? uhuh...

stupid

simple word that sums up my behaviour i guess. think about it? why do i need someone else to gauge how well i am doing. maybe i haven't reached the top of the marslow pyramid? *shrugs*

as human we seem to over complicate matters so for example you have 9 people who appreciate you (or seem so at least haha!) and 1 who couldn't care less. you worry why this 1 person thinks that way and feel negative about yourself. i did write it countless of times that we should be grateful of what we have.

maybe it's like trying to satisfy a parent in a way sometimes. you keep on doing numerous things to make them happy but their reaction is always a constant ignorance? you know how i answer to this?

stupid.

no other word describes me better than that. haha~ *sigh*

path of the empty shell

can i just walk
walk alone
in this path
called life

just me
me and the wind
breeze on my face
alone

let me keep on going
in this journey
not a thing to care
just me
and myself
finally
content.

a lack of judgement

just a mild frustration
bad habit dies hard
keep on repeating the same mistake
i know
so know i'm going to get hurt in the end
but why?

feelin' good

it just feels as if you're on top of the world if you know that everything is going your way. yesterday's interview was a good example, the interviewer asked all the questions i could answer well. getting to the second (or was it third?) round is a different case but i'm just happy that at least i gave my all..

have been quite down with the whole rat race of a job searching these days. my previous interview turned me down saying that they need immediate hire and will keep me in the loop by december. well that sucks, i really wanted that job! phooey~

so this (supposedly) good interview perked me up a lil'

let's see if the feeling is mutual between the interviewer and me though. will know in 3 weeks :)