"love like i'm not afraid to be alone.."

that line struck me the other day..."love like i'm not afraid to be alone", overheard it from a country song i happen to download sometime last week or so. can't help but repeat the song again...

sometimes we are so very careful in friendship and other relationship, so careful that the friendship becomes extremely fragile. you treasure it so much that when something unwanted happens, the friendship is like a castle built of sand. what seemingly strong is actually built by a very sensitive foundation. maybe we should just throw ourselves into the friendship? give everything we got? but i find that reckless.

hurt is probably something that is hard to describe in words. in my opinion anger is something that is temporary, a form of expression, a somewhat bitter disappointment let out. but hurt? it's probably something deeper than anger. for me, hurt is probably a form of disappointment unable to surface and thus it will leave a scar inside? maybe scar is not the exact word, mark is a better choice of word i think.

do you dare to throw yourself into something uncertain? give everything you have to something unsure? love someone (or a group of people) without knowing whether they reciprocate?

i guess that's life.

life's a gamble.

making one small step is already a gamble.

question is: do you (i) dare leave the hurt behind and gamble?

i'm attached...are you???

izzzzziiiittttt????

well the other day i had a so called "conflict of interest" with one of my good friends, she cancelled a trip out of town less than 12 hours from the trip itself. i consider myself a pretty organized person who needs to know what my schedule is at least 24 hours ahead *the monica (think friends) syndrom* so this sudden change of plan came as quite a less than pleasant surprise. i was extremely upset and although i totally understand her reasons it got me thinking..i am soooo attached to my friends?!

are you attached, here's how you check:
1. do you feel comfortable going to a mall by yourself?
2. can you spend 8 hours by yourself (no interaction with other people)?
3. name 3 group of friends who you usually go out with?

if you have the slightest hint of hesitation in answering any of the three simple questions then HA you're attached too!

is it a guy thing to aspire to be independent and not rely onto others? well i feel that being too dependent to a group of people or even an individual is a form of weakness one should try to lose. well for now, i will try to spend the weekend with different clique and see how it goes. i think i need time to think the friendship over *wow, just like a bf-gf relationship?!*in my opinion it is necessary to have a group of people you are comfortable and can rely on to a certain extent but it is EVEN more important to be able to stand as one individual.