another avenue

here i am again; same place same spot a few months ago

on a night like today i go into deep reflection...it's like i'm standing on a big avenue where there are road directions that will change your life for good. it's so exciting and yet on the other side it's so worrying. can't help having a major headache for the past few days after i finished my gmat (btw, the gmat unofficial result was quite alright i suppose for my standard). and so i have finished climbing one hill but after that hill is completed i realized behind it there are mountains ahead. but i suppose as my friend oblio keeps on reminding me - the world still revolves. how very true.

you know something? maybe i'm worried that after one success and my confidence is up there than one big blow will dash everything a part. as you heard before the higher your ego, the harder you'll fall. sometimes i think life is full of cruel mirage, you seem to perceive one incident as one thing but in the end when it's nearer you realized that it's actually nothing more than the trick of the mind.

why am i so desperate to do my masters abroad.

i suppose it's my ticket out of this company, my life here is beginning to look like a circle. everyday is a circle; always the same thing again and again. like a simple flowchart drawn by an upstart staff. it's so very predictable and pointless. what better way to escape other than pursuing your studies.

sometimes i worry.

i'll try this weird uncommon analogy. let's say that i live in a village and am desperate to seek freedom to break free and go to the "city". the question is what if out there is another village or even a more rural one that the one i used to live in. or worse still what if i never get the chance to see the "city", even when i have all the things needed to go there? does that make any sense?

let me just pause for a while.

yes, maybe that's it. i need to pause abit from my tiring thinking. there's not much thinking to do anyway, as i quote from a famous (or infamous) advert - "just do it". i'll just try and give it shot. wish me luck y'all.