visiting a friend

a lifetime's not too long to live as friends




























a couple of weeks back, mr. yandao and i decided to pay a visit to an old friend i haven't met for a good 8 years. although time and again i've always had this intention to go there but wasn't sure going alone would be a good idea. since the 7th of may 9 years ago was the day she left us, we decided to go on the 6th. i had a good conversation with her trying to update what has happened to my life (and common friends whom we know)

it's pretty strange as i was standing there looking at your photo half smiling half biting my lip, even until now it is still so hard to believe you have left us. 9 years ago i could not believe my ears when i heard you're in the hospital collapsed at the school field. i saw you in that morning, even joking about daily stuffs. then the next day you're gone. it was too fast it was just too fast.

i hope you still remember our present to you for your birthday, we were too cheapo to buy you anything expensive so someone came up with a "bright" idea as to record our own voices on a cassette tape. so there were we, 10 obnoxious boys yapping non stop for 1.5 hours about everything under the sun! i remember we sang "happy birthday" to you over and over coz we need to fill in the tape and there was this part that makes my heart aches everytime i remember. someone asked "hey hey what do you want to be when you grow up, anna?" then someone replied "be a pilot!" (internal joke), "be a singer!", "aiyah be anything that earns you a lot of money lah!". i also remember we taped it until very late at night we had to continue only with study lights (hostel regulation lights off!) then someone suggested "hey later YEARS from now, let's all play soccer anna, it'll be so fun!! everybody can bring their family, so crowded. so messy!" "we should play golf instead! yah, when we're all successful we should play golf!" hahaa.... those were the days. it's kind of embarrassing recalling all the memories now but it was definitely a sincere gift :)

it's ironic really. coz you, being the very promising person that you are do not get to live your dreams. the 10 obnoxious boys unfortunately are unable to keep our promises to play soccer with you, to tee off with you, to tease you about your silly looking pinefore anymore. *sigh* it's been 9 years, honestly it doesn't feel that long. i can still see the worry in everybody's eyes at the hospital, the crying of the gals at the side, the guys sitting on the floor too shocked to say anything.

we've been blessed. so very blessed to have known someone as you. we've known each other for 3 years? 4 years? seems so short though. maybe that song is right - a lifetime's not too long to live as friends? do you think?

well i just want to say that i miss you. i'm sure everybody here misses you in different ways. maybe not saying it, not showing it. we might not come to visit you that often. but trust me, we do miss you in everything we do.

anna, you're always in our prayers...