the night before birthday

it's quite strange to actually spend another birthday in singapore, far away from home. i don't know if i should be happy or sad? on one hand i got what i wished for last year, which was to do my masters in singapore but on the other hand it can get pretty lonely in here. let's not even mention the inconsiderate lecturer who decides to give a test on monday. "so?" you say? that means i'm stuck at home!!! *bish bish bish* well it's between self indulgence and guilt, the way i see it guilt will win and i'll be stuck at home mugging on my birthday. *roll eyes*

it's quite strange how my life has so many twists and turns; some happy and proud incidents while some others are not even worth mentioning here. but looking back on my life i must say that every blister was necessary, every wound was important in making me the way i am today. i can even almost say *gasp* that i am quite proud to see where i am at the moment.

the future is in the hands on the person itself. at a recent leadership class we were supposed to write a personal life mission and values on paper. despite the big hooha and hissy fit some people threw, i must say it was quite an eye opener. of coz it was uncomfortable letting others to read your supposed future but i can't say that it's all bad, sometimes we don't really know what we want. we just live our lives day in day out without any intention or specific goal. maybe with forcing us to write it down, we are obligated to think of where we want to be in 5, 10, 15 years time.

another year has passed; did i live my life meaningfully, did i hurt anyone, did i touch anyone's lives, did i change anyone, did i make enemies, did i make friends, was i a good friend, did i learn enough, so many questions in my head tonight. (sigh i miss my car, if i was in jakarta i would've taken her for a night drive with my favorite cd playing in the background) if i have to die will i regret my 26 years of life?

it's a birthday, let's not be too morbid tonight

forgive my less enthusiastic self but i guess i'm just happy that i get to live another year :)

*ahem* by the way, do i celebrate it at 12.00 singapore time or should it be 12.00 indonesian time (which means 01.00)? hmmmm..... :D