a dose of reality

today again i realized that time does not wait for anyone, it keeps rolling on tumbling down... sometimes you hear it knocking on the door but ignore it totally, choosing to delve in the self delusion that time might freeze and everything will stay this way.

after awhile it will come to you that it's actually reality standing there to remind you to start walking again. so walk on. it's not a question, it's a statement. walk on.

you know sometimes i feel that in our lives we should not have any strong attachments with anything; wealth, friends and family (?). we are so engrossed with what we feel is ours that we did not realize that it isn't ours at the first place.

think of your wealth for example. you are so busy collecting money, saving every single penny and working your way in the career ladder but at the end of the day, do you realize that it isn't yours at the first place? it's of Someone of a higher ground *if you know what i mean* let's not get religious now.

wat about your friends? i feel that i'm so dependent on them that when they move on with their lives later, i'll probably feel stranded. maybe when this whole mba is over i should get a job that takes most of my time that i'll be so busy that i don't have much time to think much about these things *been there, done that*. i always feel that's the reason why i was so workaholic back in jakarta. well the money didn't hurt either.

family? i don't even want to start with my family. let's move on.

i hope the wheel of time can freeze for me, i'm kind of enjoying my life now. in fact my friend asked me the other day; scale of 1-10, how happy am i. i answered her 8.5 probably. you know the better it is, the harder you are to walk on. but when you don't walk on, you might not know maybe in front there is a 9 or even a 9.5 *mmmm i don't see a life so perfect it can hit a 10, i'll get back to you if i do* talk is cheap, i still feel that 8.5 ain't too shabby, it's still rather hard to get my feet on the ground and start moving... *but hey don't blame me, i'm EXTREMELY risk averse* mmmm... maybe i'll just ponder through the night mmm...