the course of life

today i learn.


不想想太多 - 蘇慧倫

i suppose i've been up in the clouds for too long thinking that i could do everything by myself. everything was great, situation was fantastic and of coz i am ALL that. the fact is, the earth called. maybe this is a lesson for me to stay grounded, keep my feet firm there. there are 5 modules that i'm taking currently and the one that gave me the shock is the very one that i thought i did best (or at least the one that supplies me with the highest chance of a decent result). it's just strange, remembering the m&o class that i have, i am a very internal person; someone who thinks that the results come from the ability of the person and very little external factors as the variable. but today i feel that it's been dashed. i'm nothing...

feels like every single drop of confidence taken away from me. i don't think i'm that incompetent but thinking it over again... maybe i am. it's the doubts that people get about themselves every now and then.

if i follow this mood i would want to go somewhere alone far, very far, just away from the people i know. to calm my mind, set everything on line again and hopefully tomorrow will be a different day. but in this course you don't get the chance to do so, you just have to pick yourself up and start running the race again. it's just not over, so not over. i'd like to believe that it's not. in the life course you may be bruised, bleeding but you just have to sustain it.