Thursday, May 18, 2006

meet my bestfriend - ME

"some people are happy to be remembered i guess"

don't you think it has a certain truth in it? i suppose some if not all individual will be happy if remembered. i was chatting with my friend about him planning to go to thailand for a business trip and how he usually does not buy anything for his so-called-friends. *he said he's a parsimonous person..yeah right stingy is more like it haha* then he asked me back "why would you want to buy small tid bits for acquintances" which i replied like the above.

won't you be happy if you are remembered?

well i guess..if it's someone dear to me? it's a compliment at its best to actually have someone think of you right? i'm overassuming it is not anybody scary, stalker or someone who thinks of you for all the wrong reasons *shudder*.

but knock knock reality check, how long will you or the memory of you remains in this world? a decade? two decades if you're lucky. the thing is that our existence in this world is just those that period of time. you should be overjoyed when your grandchildren can remember you by the time they are in their 30s. you might be mentioned once or twice by your great grandchildren? but that's the sad fact, our life is just temporary. we ARE temporary in this world. just a passing fad. well you get my line of thoughts do you?

so now time to rethink, is getting remembered that important? it's funny if you get upset when your friends in the office "accidentally" left you out or forgot to call you for lunch. come to think of it, in my opinion my bestfriend is myself. so what if there are a simultaneous syndrome of not remembering me amongst my friends. it's great to have friends but i think i should put my perspective right, there aren't too many friends who are willing to spend quality time with you, help you when you're down, listen to you whine etc etc *basically what the boybands usually croon about* other than yourself. say "oei" if you agree now. *OEI to myself...thankew friend..hahaa*

Monday, May 15, 2006

happy mother's day!

well i don't really celebrate nor remember it but i enjoy this clip all the same..lala...



o well, for what it's worth "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!"

the stupidest day ever

can't believe i make such a stupid mistake, have worked here for about two years and just two months before i leave i do this. i feel so bad now. ergh. i just hope somehow i can make up for this mistake and leave properly. gawd!

Monday, May 08, 2006

that particularly cliched analogy

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you can perceive a glass as half full or half empty, it's totally up to you. don't you think so? well i do definitely find it so although i think everyone heard of that phrase before soooomewhere. sometimes we think we are the unluckiest fellow on the face of earth and self pity ourselves so much but in reality is it really true? but is it really fair at the first place to make comparison to others?

early last year i was extremely disappointed when my masters application was not succesful to a particular uni i applied to. i found it unfair considering the cv *that i thought was above average <-- notice the past tense??* attached in that application. well anyways there was a period of time when i was dashed and felt empty, like nothing mattered much anymore. but think about it? is it really THAT bad? a friend even made a comment when i applied the second time and whined about the possibility of me getting through "don't get don't get lor life goes on". it does sound bitter but it IS the truth. *although you could actually rephrase in 1001 other better ways than that*

the problem is are we THAT unlucky? are we THAT sad? are we THAT unfortunate?

it depends who's asking. i told you before i've been tainted with the whole singaporean community system *yes look for a scapegoat now you say, shaddap* and i myself would not want to be a hypocrite and say "aw at least it has a single drip left" that would be a downright lie. but the question i feel is not about pondering whether it's half full or empty! the solution to the problem is not in that question itself, by right you should just stand up and fill the glass. stop wasting time asking redundant questions.

so the next time someone tries to be a smart aleck and tell you that we should see a situation like a glass half full, tell him to stuff a sock in it and just walk away. he's got too much time in his hands.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Clock That Goes Backward



Jay Chou - The Clock That Goes Backward

i suppose at least at one point of time a person will hope the clock will be able to move backward; to savour the memory of time gonebys or at least what is left of it. but maybe what we want is not the past but we are worried of the uncertain future. just yesterday i paused in my car and took a moment, maybe wanting to take a mental picture of my car and my current condition; of how i look, how i feel and what i am thinking about.

do you know i was thiiiis close for not leaving singapore, sometimes we are given a very hard choice and when we make that decision we're unsure whether that's the best one to make. but ask yourself, who are we to decide whether the option is 'right' or 'wrong'. and i bet there are times years after the incident when asked whether you'll do it again you reply smilingly "well i might not do it again but the experience was definitely not a bad one either"

as an example, i met some of my closest friends in the university i did not choose initially. it's funny i guess, because i will give you a dead definite "NO WAY" when asked about the university i chose before that. but it all turned out alright i think, more than that now i feel that it was the right decision made. sometimes what we need is time. (although most of the time we are lacking in them and thus we after a long - believe me LOOOOONG time we realize it)

so if you can turn back the time will you go back and change anything? hmmm will i? i dun think i can give a definite yes or no answer but i definitely feel that up to this point everything falls to places where they're supposed to? what about you?