Friday, February 17, 2006

*knock* *knock* reality here

reality who? *aw you know reality WHO!*

spie_dee's listening to:

Wang Lee Hom's "Hua Tien Cuo"

that's probably the most common answer we usually makes. it is so much simpler to lie to ourselves, to think that the reality does not exist to a certain extent.

yesterday i was chatting with a friend regarding my upcoming GMAT test that i scheduled for the 27th february 2006. i was looking for a kind of moral support telling my friend about it and all. unfortunately she didn't give me the "good luck" reply i was expecting and rather she non-chalantly told me to take it easy since even if i don't do well then nothing will happen. even i do sooo badly *CHOI! hey i'm just trying to stay chinese here..* and do not get admitted *CH..erm nevermind* to any universities i intend to do my masters, she said "then don't study lor". well in human term that actually says "the world still revolves". she ended with a "so what's the big deal?"

well it's not a big deal actually, it's just my life at stake.

i was driving home wondering about the whole comment and i realized that we *or rather i?* would prefer to be lied at compared to the TRUTH. well harlow, knock knock reality is here. you can actually reply "no thanks, i didn't order a "reality", i DID ask for a "self delusional" combo special though" but seriously reality would come back at you. it's there whether you like it or not.

i mean let's put this into perspective let's say you know someone who is terminally ill and will be undergoing an operation the very next day, would you actually tell them what happen if the operation fails. "you'll die lor"

anyhoo for the time being (until i receive my GMAT) i don't care whether you lie or anything, do smother me with your lies. the best is of course not mentioning it at all, this particular test makes me REALLY nervous coz i'm not too confident about and this time around is a do or die. just wish me all the best and i think that's more than enough. i know what happens if i get satisfying GMAT results and i definitely know what will if i don't. don't think i need anyone screaming it on my ears thank you very much.

well not sure whether it's me who is waaaaaay too sensitive but in my opinion the news is just way too abrupt to break. and sure i AM being hyperbolic but seriously i think the world is just not ready to be THAT honest. or is there something wrong with me? *blink blink*

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

happy valentine you SINGLES!

the one you use for ham & cheese?

were you one of them who felt warm and fuzzy yesterday during the big v-day? the day where all the couples are doing all their might to show the world that they are attached, they have someone special to accompany them for dinner, they *arguably* get flowers and/or chocolate, they can thrash those who are single and of coz most importantly that means *drum rolls* someone actually wants em for who they are *or supposedly of coz*.

why do singles feel dejected during v-day? trust me they're not jealous of the free chocolates and presents and i do not think it's about people accompanying them for dinner either *harlow you can ask you mum to sit with you also right*. anyways i think it's the lonely feeling that those singles get when they see a couple about their age walk past holding hands and all cudly. maybe it's the unwanted feeling deep down inside. *i'm considering changing all those "they" to "we" now haha..*

but then again the point of the word "singles" is actually quite interesting at the first place. when i hear that word i remember the kraft single slice that they use to make a ham and cheese sandwich. that's the thing! you need other things to get your ham and cheese sandwich right and not the kraft single slice cheese alone. that would be odd. i wouldn't want just the singles cheese! AHA!

seriously what is the point of the big hoo ha of this valentine's day? some say that it's the day to show your love to that person, there are a few who think it's the day to buy present for your loved ones, and of coz on the contrary there are LOTS of people who perceive it as the day to make as much profit as possible by jacking up the price double of the original. is it just a marketing propaganda? to a certain extent i suppose that's right.

my friend oblio even mentioned in his blog about how ridiculous it is to represent your feelings towards a significant other with mere objects like flowers and chocolates during valentine's day. he even claimed that given the choice he'd rather get a box of chocolate then a bouquet of flowers, which i reply with rolling my eyes? they'd probably chuck the chocolate away, give it to their siblings or better still they'd keep it in the fridge until it's waaaaay past the expiry date. hey, i did that once and i'm not even as sentimental as gals *aaah those were the days..* gals have a love-hate relationship with chocolates i think.

well it is very superficial to show something as deep as love with mere objects like flowers that will wilt in a few days or a box of chocolates that would becomes a walking ground for weird creepy crawlies after a few months *well eat it and that beautiful, pretty or cute looking chocolates will become..erm..you know..* which i find those very unromantic. but the question to ask dear respected mr oblio is DID you get any? :D

sure valentine is superficial, love itself can be superficial don't you think? it's about opening doors, letting the gals go first and about flowers, not forgetting the chocolates too. but what's most important is not the object but the motive behind the object itself, if it's a sincere sign of appreciation then a box of cheap chocolate would be enuff or even some weird looking flowers? well i remember during teachers' day back in sji the teachers were called in front of the lecture theatre and received a bright green umbrellas with a big SJI logo. not on you would use everyday you see unless you put the umbrella so low it hides your face or it's raining so hard that your face will be blurred by the heavy rain. back to the example, it's not the ugly umbrella that matters *i SWEAR it was ugly* and that's not the reason why some teachers couldn't hold back their tears either *did i mention it was fugly?* it's the gesture i suppose. it's the thought that counts. cliche? sure thing. so is love, the most cliched superficial kind of feelings but we all enjoy it all the same eh?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

aw you love me..you REALLY love me..

do mind the stupid pun...

anyhoo a few days ago my hang out friends and i went to celebrate my birthday, it was actually a birthday for three people since two of my friends are having about the same birthday date as me. call me a material guy or something but when my friends gave me my birthday present i was quite shocked coz it's quite pricey to say the least.

yes yes save me the "boo"s and "phooey"s, hey i was touched deeply by it okay since that would mean you're doing something right with your friends. i sometimes wonder how other people perceive us as? do you? i mean we don't really know since friends talk about us ALL the time when we're not around (one more reason to attend social outings more frequently, haha) and usually they don't go around thanking you all about or cursing you inside out. that's the thing with being an asian! asians tend to be very reserved; they don't thank their friends nor criticize them honestly. aw don't lie, when your friend comes out with a dress that would fit someone with 10 pounds less in their tummy and ask you "how do i look?" you wouldn't really tell them the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth right? you'd go "erm..it's unique?" RIGHT-O.

what makes you qualify as a good friend, a likeable person, a sociable fellow, etc? don't think i qualify for any of the above thanks to my moody self. i dun attract people as many as this one guy i know, i tell you he can sell ice blocks to the eskimos. definitely not as good looking as some of the people i encounter either. SERIOUSLY don't have a thing with words as those cassanovas, gawd i get tounge tied when i am nervous.

there's one thing that i learn last month, you don't always need to be the(e) most something2 all the time. you can be awkward once a while, you can wear the wrong outfit a few times, you can style your hair the "unique" do sometimes and trust me if your friends are real friends, you'll get away with'em. c'mon that's why they give you presents during your birthday, they have to stand ALL this shi*es from you, har~low..haha. you know what they like best of you? it's those days when you are awkward, wearing the wrong outfit and style your hair "uniquely" (all in one day if possible actually :D)

so i think this year i have to thank my friends for giving me this really nice present! it burnt a big major crater in their pockets too by the way...hehehe....hey, i'm just trying to be honest and defy my whole asian ancestors here!